Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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