Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
