my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
