he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
