Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
