we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The power of my boobs compel you
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
