I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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