I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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