My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
