A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
