Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
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