Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
