I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
