Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
