I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
