nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
