He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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