You're my little dorito
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
