i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
