A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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