There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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