She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
