I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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