We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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