I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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