If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
