it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
