so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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