I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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