Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
