He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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