I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize