She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Life is so much better after having sex.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
