I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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