Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
