Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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