whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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