I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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