Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
