I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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