I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
