You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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