So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
