S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize