When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
