The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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