So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
