me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
ugly people sure do ruin things
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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