after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize