i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
