Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize