I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
