i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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