that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
