There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
