My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
