I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
