Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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