Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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