she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
