just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
