oh god the rape fog is back!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize