I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
