it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
