Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Randomize
