The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
