We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you inspire me to be a worse person
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
