good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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